Net Worth

// K2806 · Originally aired January 11, 1999

The gang arrives on an Earth divided between computer-hackers and computer-lackers, and battles ruthless scavengers to unite a young couple who fell in love on-line.

Written By // Steven Stoliar
Director // Paul Lynch
Music // Danny Lux

Reviews

// Earth Prime

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, but “Net Worth” is a real stinker.

// Think of a Roulette Wheel

There is no right or wrong—there is only fun or boring. HACK THE PLANET.

// External Reviews

Worlds Visited

Cyber World

Internet technology run amok has created a caste society separating people based on their interaction with computers.

Timer Status

Despite Quinn’s assurances of a densitrometry failsafe, the wormhole opens in the middle of a pane of glass, putting two pairs of Sliders on opposite sides of a wall.

Details

Quinn, Rembrandt and Joanne meet Colin, Maggie and Rick at map coordinate FE16.
Most people get cabled when they turn 18, giving them a constant Internet feed.
While Jack and the rest of the scavengers watch television in Joanne’s apartment, the following flashes on the screen:

Use DigiCash now… DigiDise… Order Now… Groceries… Antiques… Collectibles…

While that stuff is flying across the screen, images of a heart locket, china pitcher, sewing machine, pocket watch, 1950s car model, cell phone, clock, chamber pot, jewelry, lamp and some other object appear on the television screen.

Onliner Terminology

Curious as to what they’re saying in this episode? Here’s all the slang Joanne and Rick use.

naked: wearing no technology (also netless)
tubed over: traveled from another hermetically sealed Onliner community via transfer tube
F2F: face-to-face
ret-write: using the retina as a form of identity affirmation or negotiation through the neural ‘Net
onliner: someone who has embraced a technological way of life
offliner: someone who has rejected a technological way of life
digidise: merchandise that can be purchased digitally
digicash: kind of like debit cards, but served through a digital medium
cracker: an offliner who has accessed the online neural ‘Net
Knowbot: an electronic helper that assists an onliner in finding pertinent information on the web

Character Information

Joanne lives in the Ivory Towers.
Joanne’s parents work ‘digijobs’—y’know, temporal lobe jobs, REM stuff.
Joanne is a node on the LAN, and a WAN on the Web.
Colin’s first love was Audrey Hepburn. He saw a picture of her in his parent’s house.
Rembrandt’s first love was Shirley Browder. When he was 8 and she was 7, he took her to the St. James and John DeMolay Halloween Dance. She was Cinderella, he was Ming the Merciless.

Notable Quotes

“I really wish that girl would just learn to mellow out.”—Quinn, about Maggie after they’ve been separated for a minute or so.
“I don’t believe it. We’ve been here two minutes!”—Quinn, running back to the window minutes after the slide and seeing Maggie and Colin in a fist fight.
“Rick is a genius.”—Joanne.
“Hey, on a good day this guy’s a genius.”—Rembrandt, defending Quinn.
“Sounds like true love. Now will you help us?”—Rembrandt, after hearing Joanne rave about Rick being the other half of her soul.
“Is she your girlfriend?”—Joanne, about Maggie.
“No.”—Quinn.
“I always ask myself, ‘What would June Cleaver do?’ And I do the opposite.”—Shirley.
“June Cleaver?”—Joanne.
“Fascinating.”—Colin.
“Don’t give me that Mr. Spock stuff.”—Maggie.
“I don’t know. It was kind of nice not hearing you.”—Quinn, to Maggie, on their short separation.
“Love hurts.”—Rembrandt. ‘Nuff said.

Money Matters

Joanne can buy all kinds of goodies for Quinn and Rembrandt with her DigiCash. Other than that, money’s not really needed since they’re only on this world for 10 hours.

Nitpicks and Errors

The neural implant device that is going to give Joanne a direct uplink is the same torture chair the Kromaggs used on Maggie in Common Ground.
Colin, Maggie and Rick escape the Scavengers by running through the obstacle area of The Dying Fields.
The huge explosion that the Scavengers set off doesn’t kill or maim anyone. How is that?
If Joanne can enter the Ivory Towers with a retina scan, why do they need to exit the building by going down the trash chute?
Even though there is six people in Joanne’s apartment, Rick’s display shows far more people than that.

Neatpicks

Quinn’s non-verbal “thanks” to Rembrandt after he defends Quinn’s intellect to Joanne is hilarious.

Guest Starring

Mark A. Sheppard as Jack
Christian Oliver as Rick Montana
Sandy Martin as Shirley Montana
Hayley DuMond as Joanne Capshaw
Ingo Neuhaus as Guard

Script Archive

Click on the links below to download rare scripts, outlines, and memos associated with this episode.